Boy hiatus

Today's been a really crummy day. I'm so unbelievably disgusted with the opposite sex that I feel like screaming, and crying, and throwing things...expensive things. For the well being of my personal belongings I think I'll just vent here about it instead.

So there's this boy I've been talking to for a couple of MONTHS now. Started off very friendly, went for coffee, movies, dinners, that sort of thing. Strictly platonic...until a couple of weeks ago. It all happened really quickly, I started getting all butterfly-ish when I was around him, we spent every minute we could talking/chatting/hanging out, and this past weekend when he cupped his hands around my face and pulled me in for this amazing-only-in-the-movies kiss, I completely melted. Putty in his hands.

Then this morning I wake up to this email...

Subject: hey there... (really? HEY THERE?)

"hey ash,

past few weeks have been amazing but im afraid i have to come clean about something before i can see you again. im married and i dont think i can keep doing this to my wife. leading you on isnt fair because i know you deserve better. maybe we can just have fun together? im really sorry i feel stupid about everything."

...

...

...

It has taken absolutely everything I have in me not to show up at his work (that I’ve been to SEVERAL times) and cause an Oscar worthy scene in front of everyone. And then key his car on the way out. MARRIED...really? REALLY? And then he's so casual about it... "i dont think i can keep doing this to my wife"..."maybe we can just have fun"...ASSHOLE.

I feel like SUCH an idiot for not seeing through his lies. How the hell did he manage to keep it hidden for so long, lie after lie after lie. I've just been playing back everything he's ever told me back in his head, trying to figure out where I could have possibly caught on. Oh and on top of that it absolutely baffles me to think that he thought that I'd be ok with the situation. KF;'ka;sduifh;alksdnjf;kl

I makes me sick, and it really, really makes me sad because I know that there are SO many other guys out there just like him. I've had the immense pleasure of coming across more than my fair share, and I wonder how much I can really trust anyone I fall for?

I'm officially on boy hiatus.

I don't need the drama, the heartache, and I really don't need the stress.

The next couple of months are going to be completely dedicated to *me*, to getting myself healthy and happy and strong. As completely devastated as I feel right now, this challenge ahead of me gives me hope, and something to look forward to.